You're only beautiful when your mouth is closed

I don't understand why some (probably a lot of) people have an aversion to relationship-related communication. Is it taboo? Is it because people are insecure or afraid? Are they trying to avoid embarrassing/infuriating/insulting their partner? It just doesn't make sense. Wouldn't you rather KNOW exactly how your partner feels, rather than steep and stew and guess? Manifesting a metaphorical iron curtain is a lose-lose situation. Essentially you choose to be ignorant of your partner; you would rather not know their feelings/thoughts in a given situation, and you prevent them from knowing yours. Granted, if you've been with your partner for a long time, chances are you can make a fairly educated guess about what's going through their brain. But even if your partner is well-read, remaining incommunicado is not going to alleviate any tension or stress.

Example. Suppose you're at the bar, it's shortly after one, the crowd is beginning to dwindle, and you're liberally past half-cut. You haven't had any luck with the sex(es) of preference, and you're growing weary, ready to call it a night. Suddenly a familiar acquaintance spots you as they're exiting the bar. They tell their friends to leave without them. You spend the next twenty minutes catching up over gin and tonics. Your acquaintance suddenly becomes extremely flirtatious, and tells you they've always had a bit of a thing for you (which may or may not be true). You tell them the same (which is true). They take you back to their place, and after twenty-four minutes of awkward, but eventually rewarding sex, you both fall asleep.

In the morning you are left with a selection of scenarios that fall generally into these two categories:

A) Wake up, fool around a little more, and tell your acquaintance it was nice seeing them again while nervously trying to gauge whether they're interested in a sequel. Unable to observe any subtle or overt hints, you leave, scolding yourself for somehow losing your spine and scrotum between the bedroom door and your shoes. Future encounters with the acquaintance are awkward, and you wonder whether you could have had something more meaningful.

B) Wake up, fool around a little more, and ask your acquaintance what their intentions are, or were. Depending on their response you tell them you just wanted to fool around too, or are interested in something a little more. In either case, you leave content knowing where they stand.

Because this is a familiar acquaintance you can't just leave while they're sleeping. You actually like and respect this person as a friend, so there is no C). But I want you to think about option A) for a second. You had the confidence, though it was alcohol-induced, to have sex with a person with whom you're familiar--though certainly not familiar enough to read their romantic intentions--yet know little about, and NOT have the confidence (or some other lack) to exchange a few words. If you don't realize how RIDICULOUS that sounds, then you're destined to become a divorce statistic. Really, I wouldn't be surprised if poor communication is the primary reason why the divorce rate in North America is above fifty percent.

A quote from an existing female:

"Even if a guy hooks up with me because we're both drunk, I would rather know that he just wanted to hook up with me than be misled, or have him not say anything at all. Maybe I just wanted sex too. It makes things less awkward. You'll know if he ever wanted to pursue you, or if you can pursue him."

Obviously there are some people out there who value clear communication, even when it comes to one-night stands.

An example of effective communication in a casual relationship:

A friend of mine hooked up with an acquaintance a few times before she went traveling. When she returned, she eventually saw and hooked up with him again. Instead of looking for a romantic or dating relationship, she made it clear to the fellow that she wasn't looking for a boyfriend. She just wanted something casual--for the innocent, a casual relationship involves generous quantities of sexual activity and an aversion to emotional attachment. The fellow said he was fine with a casual relationship, too. Eventually she decided she was ready for a boyfriend and broke things off with the fuck buddy. Of course, he wasn't too pleased, but they both knew it would end and she made that clear to him.

This is a great example because she didn't leave the guy guessing. She knew what she wanted and in order to make things work between them she needed to tell him what her intentions were. Instead of pulling the cheap slut card and breaking off all contact with him, she talked to him like an adult when she decided it was over. Simple.

Communication is important in all relationships. If someone rubs your clit too hard, you NEED to tell them, because they'll just keep doing it. If someone bites your dick too hard, you NEED to tell them, because they'll just keep doing it. If you don't like someone's pretentiousness, assholeness, untidiness, sarcasm, excessive flatulence, etc., you NEED to tell them. Of course this doesn't mean you should be an asshole yourself. When you want to talk about something that bothers you, do it in a respectful way. Tell the other person why you dislike their irking action(s) and that you'd appreciate it if they'd stop, or at least change. If you come off as confrontational, you aren't going to get satisfying results. Of course, being explicit isn't ALWAYS necessary; one can get one's point across in other ways, usually via subtle cues. Though, explicitly stating your thoughts/feelings is usually the most effective and efficient form of communication.

Fear leads to ignorance. If you're going to let it dictate your political and existential self, at least don't let it determine your social life.